Why not a dog?
I don’t know how else to talk. And to try to talk with you is difficult. You can talk with all the puppets and talk about everything. People have their own puppets in puppetry; they have their own style and all of these things. But in my situation, I don’t even know if I’m talking to you or the puppet, so I can’t think either. I try not to think at all. But even if I wanted to think, it would be difficult. I like thinking; talking is easier.
On the occasion of my engagement to a man named Victor Giger at the end of the summer, I was not invited to the opening of the theatre, but had a private audience. I was surprised to find that the opening was a performance of ‘Cherub.’ This time, however, I did not think of dancing. I saw the play as very silly. It’s kind of a story about a person making a puppet out of a human, and then he tries to take it over. So, what’s the difference? I was not thinking of the dance. I knew it was too silly and too childish… It’s not that I was dancing as a dancer, I was taking my clothes off. I thought I was dancing; I didn’t even have to think about it that much to see what I was doing. It was very simple compared to my own performance in the ballet. Because if I dance, I must be dancing. You have to believe what you’re doing, and it’s very difficult to believe something you’ve seen, especially in ballet, for it’s a difficult thing to understand ballet. All of a sudden the idea of going out and being a little bit drunk is a great idea. And I have no idea what to do in ballet. I don’t know when I will get there.
But it was hard to watch. They had already done the beginning. The first scene has been seen. There’s no dance, it’s not a ballet; only an idea. At the end, there’s a little dance of light and the whole thing changes into dancing and then there’s no singing at all. I thought it was great to watch. In fact, I was pretty drunk. I just don’t know how I was going to make it out of there. It’s hard.
Somewhat like a person with a heart that doesn’t beat, you have not been in a relationship for six years now
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